… and how to write them.
Many couples have a fear of writing wedding vows. Don’t panic and don’t worry, it doesn’t mean you’re less of a couple. Putting big, meaningful and life-altering feelings onto paper is not easy and I hope some of these hints will help you. Actually, the best wedding vows come straight from the heart and in your own words. Some couples like to write them together and others like to write them separately, enjoying the look on their lovers face as they hear them for the first time at the ceremony.
Here are a couple of basic rules which can help you start the process.
Firstly, it can help if you agree on how much you are going to write, so your vows are roughly the same length.
Secondly, agreeing on whether you will include any ‘fun vows’, is also a good idea.
Then, to get you started, use the words ‘I promise…’ or ‘I love you because…’ or ‘I always smile when…’ to begin your sentences.
Most importantly, there are no rules! You can do what you like. It’s only important that your wedding vows reflect you and your personality, your partner and your relationship with each other.
As a marriage celebrant I get to hear many wonderful vows, as well as some very funny ones. I like to encourage my couples to write their own vows as it may be the only opportunity they will have to make promises for building one of the most important relationships of their lives. The best wedding vows talk about your past, present and future.
Here are some real-life vows from some lovely couples I married recently:
I promise that this is a once in a lifetime love, and no matter what challenges come our way, we will face them head on and holding hands (because we’re otters).
I promise to continue to work on packing lighter when we travel. I won’t wear high heels through an airport terminal, but I draw the line at sprinting to a departure gate like a contestant in “The Amazing Race”. I cannot promise that my map reading or navigation skills will improve though.
I promise to give you my unconditional love, even when you might not deserve it, as we both know that this is when you need it the most.
I promise to support you in every aspect. I will encourage your interests and passions…Yes, even your frequent snowboarding trips!
I promise to give this marriage everything I have. I will approach it with my entire heart, mind and soul. This is not the end of a search, but a new beginning for both of us.
I promise to always listen to you, to treat you with respect and honesty, to protect
you, to nurture you, and to always be faithful to you.
I promise you crystal clear waters (with no sticks, or bits) wherever you swim, and I also promise to not leave the garage door open so rats and bugs don’t have easy access to the house.
I promise to hug and kiss you always, to rub your feet when they’re sore, to keep you warm when you’re cold, and to hold your hand as we journey through life together.
I promise to never again ask you to do a bungy-jump with me, and realise that
Para-gliding is the limit of your extreme.
I promise to give you my all, my 100%, and my best efforts always. To never let the
day end with unresolved issues, and I promise you my love and my heart forever.
I love you for the way you treat me like a princess, care for me and love me unconditionally.
I love you for the way you make me see rationally when I’m worrying.
I love that you have such strong love for your friends and family.
I promise to always stand by your side during the good times and the bad times.
I promise to share in a life of wonderful adventures with you, as your wife.
I promise to be your personal alarm clock for all of your work meetings.
I love you for your beautiful smile and how often I see it. To me there is nothing that makes me happier than to see a smile on your face.
I love you for your bubbly, positive and cheeky outlook on everything, which never fails to bring out the best in me.
I love you for putting me first in everything you do, even when I resist or disagree with you. Bacon excluded of course.
I promise to make you feel like the beautiful princess that you are for the rest of our long life together.
I promise to never let you go and do whatever necessary to keep that beautiful smile on your face.
I promise to tolerate and support your endless desire for teacups, ducks, country music, bad TV shows and Disney, even if it drives me mad.